Manically posting... again.

I've become doughy and out of shape since I left the army in 2006. I haven't done much of any physical activity in years. Constantly smoking and drinking the weekends away. Luckily for me, I'm over six feet and broad chested and shouldered so the bit of weight I've put on hides easily with a buttoned shirt.

(side note tangent)I've been finding a lot of comfort in this blog, the freedom to truly talk openly in this forum, even though it's only been a few days. I'm sure the few of you who are reading this are convinced I am a psychopathic or bi polar etc... Well it's true I am deeply flawed, afraid of showing even my most trusted friends my true colors for fear some of them would never want to see me again. So thank you much, you quiet few.

Anyway the plan is to start lifting weights and walking everyday, combined with a protein heavy/high fiber diet. I've got to do something, this winter is driving me mad.

The Lady of the East.

A certain girl, we'll call her "Joy" for story's sake. I met Joy on Myspace in 2006, I don't remember who sent the friend request to whom. We would chat it up every month or so for a few years, we both moved on to Facebook, not really talking about too much, maybe flirting a little. Me in my native Kansas and her in Chicago.

About a year a half ago we started chatting more about ourselves and about sex. We traded sexy pictures and did some Skype sexting. Mind you I do fairly well in the sexual sphere when I want to, but I'm far to selfish and picky to be a real ladies man. This would be my first "internet hookup" as they're called. 

Anyhow She now lives less than an hour away from me now and we are soon to meet in real life. I imagine it will be a bit awkward at first considering we talked at length about how exactly we would fuck each other. I wonder how it will be.

Still sabotaging myself.

I haven't been to work since the 26th, not sick in the slightest. I've invested in a fake doctors note and call verification for my return. It cost a little bit of money, but should insure my employment when I come in tomorrow. It's not even that I'm happy at work, just bored to tears. I don't know what my fucking problem is.

I left my last company due to their shit policies and terrible treatment of their employees. The pay was good, but I hated everything and all creatures.

I am lost and listless. Making no positive progress, nor any negative. Moronic in my state of limbo. I feel the urge to flee creeping up and burning. Where would I go? What should I do?

Pure vanilla.

Here I am on this beautiful Monday faking sick in my apartment in my parent's basement. Watching the Tudors and blogging... blogging. Contemplating what boots to polish and wear for my return to work tomorrow. For my amazingly dull job. Talking on the for phone to the poor souls foolish enough to fill out the wrong page and request information for all the shit trade schools in America.

More mediocrity to follow...